11:49pm // i remember lying there looking into the stars with all my happiness in mind and thinking oh how this will kill when it all goes, i was wrong i dosent kill no, it destroys, you are still alive you have sit back and watch your whole life get torn apart and theres absolutely nothing you can do about it. theres this feeling of emptiness inside of me a missing piece thats consuming me and my thoughts like a illness, a disease i guess thats what it is. i look for belonging for something that will fill this hole within but i cant seem to find something big enough to fill the hole what am i left with the memories of my past when i didn't have to cry myself to sleep or times where i wouldn't lay in the dark staring at the ceiling and literally feel nothing how i took the little things in life that made me happy for granted if i could do one last thing it would to be to go back in time not to change certain ac...